And I Love Her
by MaybeThisTimeI'llWin
Summary: They're not ready to give up on her just yet. Rated T for self harm/suicide triggers and language. Includes basically every friendship, Brittana, Klaine, eventual Quinn/Sam, and probably others.


_I'm so sorry I haven't updated my other Sam/Quinn story. I completely was blocked for that, but I'm starting to figure out where to go from there. I plan on updating that soon. This story is kind of the darker version of season 3 for Quinn (and Sam because I ship them okay?) I feel like it could have easily gone in this direction. So last warning for triggers of suicidal/self-harm; I don't want anyone to hurt themselves. Also, slightly AU, no trouble tones. Sugar was allowed to join,_

The last time Quinn was in the hospital, she was completely and utterly awake. She was screaming as the powerful pain overcame her. She was afraid she would die. She was a tough girl, and had a high threshold for pain, but this was just too much. There was no way she was going to survive this. But she did. She remained alive and brought another life into the world. Now she's back in the hospital in a very secure state of unconsciousness. She's not there to give birth to another life; she is there because she decided to take her life.

There are no tears when she finally makes the decision. It had been in the back of her mind for months, sometimes creeping up towards her conscious. She never entertained the idea for long, instead choosing to focus on how to manipulate Shelby and get her baby back. It's a cloudy and chilly Monday morning when she comes to the conclusion that she's fucking crazy. Sure, she's always been aware of her unnatural obsessions with popularity, a boy, Rachel Berry's downfall, being prom queen, or whatever it was that month. But it's when she realizes that this whole time she's practically been plotting her own downfall is when she decides to just be done with this shit. She doesn't know if she's ever made a single good decision in her life. Everything she does results in her own defeat. So, with a sigh, she walks over to the medicine cabinet and chases several of her mom's "prescriptions" down with a bottle of champagne. And then she waits.

When she doesn't show up to beat the hell out of some kid because he looked at them weird, the skanks get pretty pissed. It was supposed to be Quinn's first time pummeling one of the many disgraces of William McKinley High School. The others decide to just get the show on the road, but one of them, The Mack, decides to leave and go find Quinn. She's really upset that Quinn's flaking on them. Plus, she's feeling kind of gay that day, and Quinn is hot. (The skanks fuck each other all the time) She's thinking she'll yell at the girl, push her up against the wall, make out with her, and then punch her in the stomach for being a bitch. What she finds oat the Fabray residence makes her feel like she's been punched in the stomach.

The school doesn't really know how to tell the kids. I mean, they legally have to have some kind of protocol, but it's hard to figure out what to say when the girl is Quinn Fabray. She has quite the record at McKinley. The word starts with the skanks and then starts to viciously spread throughout the school halls before the administrators can dispense the information themselves.

The first one from the glee club to hear is Kurt. He's at his locker switching out his books when he's told. His initial reaction is shock. He hadn't really thought about Quinn after a few days of her dropping off the face of the earth. Then the pieces start to fall in place for Kurt. The smoking, the pink hair, the tattoos; all of that wasn't some phase or form of rebellion. And she did quit glee club and cheerleading. Wasn't losing interest in loved activities one of the signs? Did Quinn even like glee club? Fuck, did he know her at all? Suddenly it feels like he can't breathe. He feels his chest constricting and he doesn't know how long he stands there, just hyperventilating, before Blaine's there. Blaine. Blaine who doesn't know what happened. Blaine who's worried embrace, for once, means nothing to him. Rachel spots them next. He's seen Rachel feel anguish and sadness and cry in pain before, and he's seen her flawlessly feign on stage. Somehow, both her performances and actual feelings seem insincere compared to her current reaction.

Soon, all of the glee club is aware. Puck breaks his hand punching the wall. Tina bursts into loud sobs. Finn is completely frozen. Brittany is confused and pats Santana's back, as only choking noises are coming from the tan girl's throat. Everyone is breaking down. It's Mike, shy, background Mike that realizes he'll have to be the leader in this situation. He organizes how everyone is going to get to the hospital. He doesn't trust everyone's ability to drive at the moment, and he wants to avoid anymore tragedies. Nobody else's life needs to be hanging in the battle. He can squeeze four other people into his car. He of course puts Tina in his car, he takes Puck because his hand is starting to seriously swell and he thinks he's in need of serious supervision, and Brittany and Santana, because he wants to make sure that they're not separated. Before he leaves, he deems Sugar the only one capable of driving. The girl is crazy, but he's always had a sense that she's tough. Plus, she doesn't really know Quinn all that well and is mainly concerned about the other members of the group. Sugar takes Mercedes, Kurt, and, Rachel in her tiny car. The others wait for Artie's dad to pick them up.

Mr. Shuester is worried yet relieved when none of the kids show up to glee club. He had no idea how to properly put the situation into words. He and Emma leave for the hospital promptly. School ends and all the kids file out. Nobody knows how to respond. Everyone's afraid. They don't know if Quinn's alive and they don't know how this is going to affect the student body. Come to think of it, nobody knows anything. Nobody knows why.

During the car ride there, Mercedes prays. She's always believed in the power of prayer and she's not going to stop now. She believes that all the praying from her and others helped to save Kurt's dad. She believes that it can help save Quinn. (she can't afford to believe that it won't) It feels kind of stupid and inappropriate to her considering the seriousness of the situation, but she sends out a message to all of her contacts saying that one of her friends was in the hospital, and asking them to pray. She gets glares from Kurt and Rachel for texting, and she would probably glare at herself with them if she could, but Quinn needs all the prayers she can get. She gets several replies, but she doesn't look at any of them. She just can't.

Within twenty minutes, everyone is in the hospital. They all sit in silence, none of them knowing what to say. Quinn could be dead. Quinn could be alive. If she is alive, she'll probably want to be dead. Nobody knows how they could possibly handle either one of the scenarios. Puck is coming back from getting his hand wrapped when Santana just gets up and leaves. Brittany gets up to follow but Santana harshly tells her to stay put and that she's just going to get another chair. She's not.

She curses outside the hospital when she realizes that she doesn't have a ride home. She pulls out her phone to call her mom and tell her to pick her up when her phone rings with a self-recorded playing of "Trouty Mouth."

"What the fuck do you want, rainbow trout?"

"Nice to hear from you too, Santana. Look, nobody's answering their phones and I got a text from Mercedes saying that someone's in the hospital-

"Fabray took a bunch of pills and alcohol. Don't ask me if she's alive because I don't fucking know. Bye."

She rejects the quick callback from Sam and calls on her mom. She goes home. She refuses food and water. She marches up to her room. She doesn't cry. She doesn't sleep. She just lies and bed and stares at the ceiling. She hears a knock and yells at her mom to go away. The door opens anyway, and in comes a timid Brittany. Without saying a word, the blonde girl lays down next to her girlfriend. She doesn't grab her hand. They aren't touching at all. She knows not to push it. Santana turns and looks into her eyes for a moment. It's a start, Brittany supposes, even if no words are exchanged, Santana's eyes have always said more than her words.


End file.
